Trying to find yourself

Trying to understand how you fit in life, and how life fits you.

Trying to be one with nature, so that peace fulfills you.

Trying to catch up with the rest, until there is only you.

When does one ever stop trying, really? We only stop when we lose the drive.

To a large extent, we are driven by something in life. Be it goals or ambitions or the latest phone or the largest collection or whatever. Drive is fuel for the soul. Drive is what I wake up with everyday as I watch a YouTube video on a quick workout. Drive is what I have when I look at the person that I love everyday. Drive helps me give my absolute best and making sure there are no imperfections. Drive helps me write.

The drive to be better is what I feel when I let myself down and I disappoint others around me. Emotions that drive you must be tempered with rational thought, planning and successive goals. That is what someone taught me.

The decisions that I’ve made and the life path that I’ve decided on are supposed to drive me further; so why isn’t it when I need it? Am I not bothered? Am I depressed? Am I living a life where I’m too comfortable in my own bubble? When the same person you care most about asks you these questions, you wonder.

And I’ve found my answer.

More than being a want, my drive has to be a NEED. It is what he has said again and again, where the need to want and the want to need are different.

I don’t care if I’ve screwed up. I don’t care if I did something unimaginably horrible.

I will fix it, because I have the drive to.

Trying to find yourself

What it’s like to be an intern?

Basically doing the menial work that no one else in the company wants to be doing. Hey, at least I wasn’t bringing in coffee for my colleagues everyday (that’s why we have a vending machine and a coffee maker in the pantry).

The experience that I’ve had with Leo Burnett (Malaysia) in the last three months or so was more than just an eye-opener for me; it showed me what I could and could not do, what I should and should not do, and what it means to be working. REALLY working.

To wake up regularly and take the train to work, completing tasks that need to be done while looking out for possible networking, have unnecessarily long lunch breaks and taking the train back home while thinking of what needed doing; it provided me more than a goal to obtain a decent grade for my internship. It provided me with fulfillment that I’m doing something productive and that fulfillment must derive from within.

The advertising industry has always come off to me as being gimmicky and untrustworthy, for all they want at the end of the day is consumer’s money. Even when the opportunity came along I wasn’t so sure about what I was getting into; I thought that everyday would be a living hell, but it was only when I took up this internship that I realized that the advertising industry isn’t as bad as it sounds. Granted, I’m working for a company that’s dabbled and collaborated with many known companies for their advertising campaigns, so it doesn’t feel too bad as these companies are already well-known. I can only imagine how other agencies might have a tough time with their respective clients.

I’m forever thankful to my supervisor for the first two months of my internship, for he gave little guidance (the irony) in the workplace and left me to learn on my own. More than being encouraging, he actually pointed out to me that there are some qualities that help me excel, and qualities that I lack such as teamwork. (Yes, I have to work on that more.) He was always ready to help me out when I needed it though, so that counts a lot on my book. Throughout the projects that I’ve been involved in, he’s always wanting me to speak my mind if I have something to say. There was his team, who guided me through Job Requisitions and Competitor Analyses. His team were a great bunch, but two members have since been replaced. It was around then that I met another fellow intern, Nicole who was also interning in the same group as I am.

Finally, someone who I can talk to about work!

I tried to steer clear of gossip when I can; when I do hear them I just kept my lips sealed. The light banter between colleagues were nice and relaxed, and is a needed change of pace from the stressful work (sometimes). Coming in everyday to place my bag on my desk while I grab a cup of Milo and some toast for breakfast was a mental signal to me; start working.

My internship was only supposed to last for two months but I applied for a month’s extension, to look for other prospects. Not that I didn’t want to continue working there, but I felt that I need to seek experience elsewhere before coming back.  In the meantime, I was transferred under another supervisor, who needed me to help with some of her projects. Let’s just say that the projects that she was involved in were maddening. It did not help that it was a project that switched teams and the not-so-smooth transition was affecting how we process the client’s request.

Nearing the end of my internship, I felt relieved and sad; relieved as I’ll be leaving and not having to stick to the routine that defined the past three months, sad as I don’t know what lies in my future. I’m glad that I got to know some of the colleagues, and I’ve been keeping in touch with them from time to time. Primarily for work, sometimes for chat.

The advertising industry can be unforgiving, but it can also be extremely rewarding.

What it’s like to be an intern? An experience that you’ll take to heart in your future endeavors.


What it’s like to be an intern?